“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”
“Ok… so do you want pizza for dinner or just McDonalds?”“Mom….I’m…”
“Gay. Yeah.”
“You knew?”
“I ship you and your best friend.”
“Ship?”
“I ship it.”
“Well…We’re dating. Is it fine?”
“Does he like reading?”
“Yeah. He read all those old books you liked when you were a kid. You know that series about those Greek god kids and wizards and that boy who bakes a lot and that-“
“You have my permission to marry him. Now let’s go to Disneyland.”“Mam, I’m gay.”
“OH SWEET FUCKING JESUS THANK YOU GOD YOU HAVE GRACED ME WITH MUCH IN THIS LIFE BUT NEVER HAVE I BEEN SO BLESSED AS TO HAVE A GAY CHILD THANK YOU ARE A MERCIFUL AND WISE LORD I GIVE YOU THANKS AND PRAISE AMEN.”“Mommy… I’m gay.”
“That’s great, baby!”
“H-huh?”
“Baby, you know that I support love in every form. And so does your dad. We love you always and forever. As long as your partner doesn’t abuse or use you, then I’m perfectly happy.”
“Mama, I’m gay.”
*gets on knees and praises the lord
“Wait, what’s going on.”
“I’m thanking God for the perfect son/daughter he gave me.”
“Mum, I’m gay”
“Oh my gosh thats so great! Do you have a boyfriend? Is he cute? When can I meet him? Tell me all about him! I’m already planning your wedding”
“Mom… I’m gay.”
“…. I KNEW IT!!!!”
“Mom?”
“OH MY GOSH! SAM OWES ME FIFTY DOLLARS!!!!”
“You and Aunt Sam were betting on if I was gay?!?!?”
“NO! WE WERE BETTING ON WHEN YOU WOULD TELL ME! WE’VE BEEN PLANNING YOUR PARTY SINCE YOU WERE LITTLE!!! DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? CAN I MEET HIM? IS HE CUTE?!?!? INVITE HIM TO DINNER!”
“Mom I-“
“HOLD ON SWEETIE! I NEED TO CALL AUNT SAMMY!”
